Longest Nipple Hair

Pictures

2006-03-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

So I know what you're probably thinking....

"Ok, Cory... It's all fine and good to claim you have the longest nipple hair on earth, but why should I believe you?"

A good point... And I will be posting pictures soon, I promise. It is just a little awkward to ask my buddy for ten minutes of his time so he can photograph my nipples.

That said, just to prove that I am at least serious about this, and to lend myself some credibility - here is the best picture I could find. I know it doesn't look impressive because this is basically a zoomed in picture of me with my shirt off:

Now, this picture is not in any way supposed to deem myself the record holder. It is merely a placeholder until I can take a better picture.

For comparison, here is Tyler's "record-breaking" picture:

All I'm trying to say is - to you doubters out there... at least admit that I might be serious here.

A Brief History

2006-03-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

So how does one decide that they're going to try for the Guinness World Record? Of nipple hair no less?

Well, I suppose the first step is to have really long nipple hair. I mean, I have always had long nipple hair. That part I guess is obvious.

But when does

"Wow, you have some pretty long nipple hairs, that's funny..."

go from

"Holy shit man, your nipple hairs are like, really, really long... why don't you cut them or something, anyway?"

to

"Dude, show my buddy your nipple hair. [To his friend] You've gotta see this kid's nipple hairs - it is unbelieveable."

to

"I am not even kidding. I honestly think you might have the longest nipple hair in the world. You should seriously look it up. I am being dead serious..."

Because that is exactly what happened. Over the course of my young adulthood, the length of my nipple hair has gone from a small joke between me and my friends and minor insecurity to something bigger. Something that has become a part of my identity. My friend Rob once said "Cory, when I picture you in my mind, I see you in a grassy field, shirt off, with your nipple hairs flowing in the breeze."

Homosexual connotations aside, you get the picture. (And isn't it delightful?)

What I found funniest, in reading about current record holder Tyler Ing (see links), was how true it rang.

"Ing got the idea to apply after constant hassling from friends and the encouragement of his girlfriend."

Yup.

It makes me wonder, are there thousands of us out there? We of long nipple hairs, united in the playful mockery of our friends; the hesitant support of our girlfriends; the embarassment of having to lift our shirts when introduced to new people? Is it a simple genetic trait or a way of life? And what is it about us that causes us to leave them be when the simple swipe of scissors would be enough to bring us back to normalcy?

For me my nipple hairs became a part of my identity, and cutting them would be (both literally and figuratively) cutting out a piece of myself.

anyway...

Much like Tyler, my encouragement came not from within but from those around me. It was one of my roommates that finally decided to look up what the world record was.

I was lying in bed in a sleepy haze listening to them talking in our common room. I thought I heard my name. Then I hear, "he should put Rogaine on them." Confused, and thinking i was dreaming I fell asleep...

Well it turns out I didn't need Rogaine. Not even close. The next morning I found out that they'd learned the record, a paltry *ahem* 3.5 inches. I blew it out of the water. Multiple hairs on both nipples, all of them record holders.

It was time to contact Guinness.

read more...

Introduction

2006-03-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

You may be asking yourself right now...

"Longest Nipple Hair?"

Yes. This blog is about long nipple hair, in particular, the longest nipple hair on Earth.

"Really?"

Yes, Really. Now let's move on.

The current holder of the "longest nipple hair" record, according to Guinness, is a student at the University of Western Ontario named Tyler Ing [google]. You can read about Tyler's so-called record on this weird pro-canadian forum. From the article:

"It might not be the type of world record you would take home to mother, but it is a world record and it was set here in London.

It's the length of a black hair on Tyler Ing's right nipple. It's 8.89 centimetres (3.5 inches) long -- long enough to make the 2006 Guinness Book of Records as the longest nipple hair on Earth."

Longest nipple hair on Earth, eh, Canada? I think not! As of this morning i have measured the longest of my many nipple hairs, and it chalks in at over 4.5 inches, or 30% longer than Tyler's longest hair. If the longest one, or as I call him, "the deadilest of assassins," (Chet, for short) happens to fall out in some kind of freak nipple accident or pro-Tyler sabotage operation? Fear not America, i have SEVERAL (e.g. at least 5) nipple hairs longer than 4 inches. In other words? This record is mine.

In this space I'll be chronicling my path to glory, as I seek to become the Guinness World Record holder of "Longest Nipple Hair." I'd also like to provide a forum to discuss nipple-hair related news and topics, and provide a safe haven for the few, the proud, the long.

Why, you ask?

Well.... why the hell not?

Stay tuned.